Birth

Ok so since i last posted and actually deleted some blogs i still feel like i did before. but i figures some things out. i spent the day in the yard working it is nearly spring and i gotta lot to do... well anyway i thought about things. it was so peaceful and centering today that i realized i pushed myself out of myself spiritually if that makes sense. i centered and grounded and went to a ghost hunt of sorts...i put myself out there in a way i never have before. i read people. i feel out where they are sick, as health wise and i use that gift to help, i often sense what people feel and i shut that off cause it hurts and is over whelming so i don't do it...well i went out and intentionally did it.yes i grounded and sheilded and then after cleared... but it was in many ways scarry. to go there and mean to go there. to open up like that and not really get what some of the impressions are is confusing. and i know no 2 persons get it the same way but honestly someone must be able to guide me.... so what happened? well i sent myself out there and just did not come back the same. i feel like i am about to be re born. to a more centered self calmer less anxiety that i am on the cusp of stepping into a new me.. and i don't know how to get born. like i am in a spiritual birth canal and don't see the light...i shiver when i think i might be dropping the skin of my old spritual self shedding it like a snake and coming forth in a new glowing self not held back by my old morays and constraints. as if i am breaking free of the shackels of this life about to be reborn as light and love but i still don't know how to get there.... i feel it but can't turn the right way....what will come next?